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Healthy Conflict in Marriage: Video 3 — "Pushed Buttons and Fight or Flight"

"Fight or flight" responses aren't helpful as you walk through conflict together. 

In the third video of "Healthy Conflict in Marriage," Greg and Erin Smalley describe how lashing out or shutting down both are unhealthy and prevent couples from being able to love.

But knowing your reaction style will help you tell your spouse what you're feeling.

Let's begin.

After you watch the video below, answer a few questions in the Go Deeper section at the bottom of the page. Be sure to check out the additional resources to get the most out of this series.

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Go Deeper...

Take your next step by doing these four things:

  1. Download the "Healthy Conflict in Marriage" discussion questions and talk with your spouse about them.
  2. Memorize and meditate on Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Write this verse on an index card and put it in a place you will see every day, such as your bathroom mirror.
  3. For a donation of any amount, get your copy of the companion book for this video series called Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage by Dr. Greg Smalley. It will give you additional encouragement as you start turning disagreements into healthy conflict in your home.
    Fight your way to a better marriage
  4. Reach out if you're struggling in your marriage and losing hope. You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage, and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages — with situations as complex and painful as yours — have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse's future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called Hope Restored® marriage intensives.