Focus on the Family

The Love and Respect Principle

In the first video of “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect,” Dr. Emersonoffers a biblical explanation for why men and boys are wired for respect while women and girls are designed to seek love.

This is part of God’s good plan for us, but in our broken human nature, we often react in frustration or anger. As a result, we end up feeling disconnected and misunderstood.

This can certainly be true of moms and their sons.

Take heart though! Dr. Eggerichs says when moms show respect to their sons, it causes boys to move toward — not away from — their mothers. 

That’s much better than stonewalling.

So let’s get started.

First, watch the episode by clicking the video link below. Then, answer the discussion questions in the Go Deeper section at the bottom of the page. Finally, be sure to check out the additional resources to get the most out of this series.


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Go Deeper...

Get the most out of this series by following these three steps:

Step 1
Download the “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” discussion questions for additional reflection.

Step 2
Memorize and meditate on Philippians 2:3 ESV: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Write the verse on an index card and put it in a place you will see every day, such as on your bathroom mirror.

Step 3
There’s a lot more to understand about the Love and Respect Principle than what’s in this video series. We want to help you connect more effectively with your son and hope you will check out this book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called Mother & Son: The Respect Effect. Order your copy today for a gift of any amount.